Another year of Big Brother has wrapped up, and with it the conversations around the authenticity of the poor suckers who lived in that fishbowl. Was she really that nice a person or did she just hide any negative aspects of her personality? Did he really come in ‘just for the experience’ or was he looking for a media career? Was that relationship the real deal or a play for the cameras?
Sometimes I wonder what kind of life I would lead if I were followed around by a team of a burly cameramen. (I assume burly only because of the equipment they have to carry. Also, probably sweaty.) I’ll often find myself in the kitchen, about to throw out the rest of a meal that I don’t really want, and my hand pauses, hovering over the bin.
If someone were watching me right now, what would they think of me?
Now, admittedly, this kind of borders on paranoia, so I want to make the distinction: I don’t actually think there are cameras in my house, and I discount the likelihood of a family somewhere in, say, Russia judging me for my actions. It’s just that I can’t help but imagine what it would be like.
If you knew someone was watching your every move, would you change your behaviour? In psychology it’s called the Observer or Hawthorne effect. Studies conducted to examine the effect of changes in workplace conditions on productivity found that all of the changes, no matter how small, impacted productivity (usually positively), but productivity always dropped off after the completion of the study, even with all the positive changes. Only years later, when older experiments were analysed, did researchers begin to realise that the common vein through the studies was that people were told they were being observed.
A show like Big Brother, where your audience are also the ones who can keep you in the game, is pretty much a giant Observer effect experiment. I find it hard to believe that you could completely forget that the cameras are there, and just behave as you do at home.
Here is a list of things that I may or may not do now, but certainly would NEVER do if I knew I was being watched:
Watch TV for more than two hours at a time without moving from a slouched position on the couch
Put recycling in the landfill bin
Throw away plastic bags instead of reusing them
Leave a tap running
Turn on every light in the house
Mutter to myself about how effing stupid everyone and everything is
Laugh openly at someone else’s misfortune
Sook like a little bitch about something inconsequential
Note that it’s not stuff like farting or peeing in the shower or picking my nose. I don’t really care if people know that I’m human. It’s just that I want them to think I’m a good human. I want them to think that I’m environmentally conscious (and to be fair, I do try really hard, but I don’t have a garden, so I have nowhere to put compost even if I did compost, so there). I want them to think I’m emotionally stable. I want them to think that I don’t hold grudges or have petty fights about stupid shit or cry myself to sleep because the cake I cooked didn’t turn out.
The funny part is that all that stuff I’ve just mentioned–being overly emotional, insensitive, destructive, inconsiderate–is ratings gold. I’m fairly sure that Big Brother manipulates situations just so that those horrible traits will come to the surface. The fact is that most people love to watch other people completely losing it. They want to watch people who make them feel OK about their own dirty habits.
I’ve tried to not be competitive; it doesn’t work. I’ve tried to drive all the way from A to B without having a rant at some other stupid driver; it’s just not me. I’ve tried being friends with every single person I meet; guess what? It’s tedious and boring and bad for my mental health. And it wouldn’t make good TV.
So, fair enough, don’t go out in public in your underwear and fart your way through the supermarket aisles. Don’t spontaneously abuse people in the street because you don’t like the cut of their jib. Probably avoid emotionally unloading while you’re at work or on a first date. But hell, when you’re in your own domain, be the slob you were born to be (if you were indeed born to be a slob). Remember that people probably aren’t watching you unless they have a telescope and a creepy disposition.
The Big Brother contestants only really have to pretend for three months, tops. The Kardashians probably don’t even know what their real personalities are anymore (or the shade of their hair and skin). Imagine the strain of being someone you’re not for the rest of your life, just because somebody else may judge you poorly for being you. I like to stop and remember the oft-quoted words of someone whose entire career was based on a manufactured persona:
I’m selfish, impatient and a little insecure. I make mistakes, I am out of control and at times hard to handle. But if you can’t handle me at my worst, then you sure as hell don’t deserve me at my best. – Marilyn Monroe
Yeah!
A reality show about me would be incredibly revealing–and not necessarily in a good way–but at least it would be damn interesting viewing!
TB
P.S. I will accept pitches from any network wanting to make a show about me only if it can be called Breaking Bopf.
The First Year of My Life 